TRIBUTE TO FLORENCE ONYEBUCHI (BUCHI) EMECHETA

Florence Onyebuchi "Buchi" Emecheta left this world on January 25, 2017. She was aged 72 years. She was the author of more than 20 books.

 As usual, I shared the news of her passage on my Facebook wall and there were tributes from those that loved her.

Someone says “ I am grateful for women advocates like her. May she rest in peace. Amen”

Someone else says “Rest in peace ma. Your first book I read was ‘Second Class citizen”.

Someone else says that she is curious to know what happened to her husband and children. Honestly, I have been hearing about Buchi Emecheta but I had not probed much about her. This question caused me to search about her.

Buchi Emecheta

From what I am reading from Wikipedia, Buchi Emecheta was no stranger to the issue of gender bias. She was kept at home while her brother went to school but she somehow managed to convince her parents to send her to an all-girls missionary school.

She married early and unfortunately ended up with an abusive man (Yesterday, I pointed out to a lady that ironically, educated women tend to put up with abuse more than uneducated women do. This assertion is backed up by research). Thankfully, Buchi did not let her story end with death from the blow or emotional torture from an abuser. She left the man at the age of 22 years with 5 children. She went on to earn a degree as well.

She went on to become the popular Buchi Emecheta we all remember. You can click on the links below to learn more about her and her achievements. She did not gain acclaim by publishing silly lists on Facebook.  You may have walked out of or may currently be in an abusive marriage. Your ‘suffering’ may even be different. It should not mark the end of your life. You can turn he story around for your own good.


To answer the question that inspired this post, her first daughter, Chiedu Onwordi, died in 1984 (while she was a medical student in Edinburgh) and her estranged husband, Nduka Sylvester Onwordi, died in London in 1986.

Thank you, Buchi Emecheta, for being an inspiration. I pray that the Lord will comfort your loved ones. Adieu.

References.

1. Buchi Emecheta’s British CouncilProfile
2. Buchi Emecheta – a strong writergiving a fair voice to the oppressed
3. Nigeria: Remembering NigerianLiterary Icon Buchi Emecheta

Sex During Fasting - Is it okay?

This time last year, I asked this question on my Facebook Wall – “Erm, this no sex during fasting, let’s discuss the matter o”

My friends did not let me down. I will give the perspectives without names.

Respondent 1

My thoughts on this are that as long as you end your fast at 6pm and by eating food and taking water, you should be able to have sex with your spouse after 6pm. Where I have issues is this – Should sex be between 6pm and 12 midnight or from 6pm -6am?

Someone says you can go up till 11:59 pm. My own response is that it is up to the couple participating in the fast. I have no express word from the Lord concerning this matter.

Respondent 2

Your fast begins from 12 midnight so let everybody hold body until after the fast. In case your spouse insists, my dear, you have no option but to concur.

Respondent 3

Except in the case of dry fasting, intimacy should be incorporated. There are several categories of fasting. Copulation is only prohibited from dry fasting.

I asked if there was a reason why copulation was prohibited from dry fasting and Respondent 5 says “Yes, because dry fasting by nature is uninterrupted. Nothing should interrupt it – sex, food, water etc”. Someone else asked for a scriptural reference but there was no response.

Respondent 4

Abstinence from sex should be by the consent of both parties but it should not be all the time to prevent Mr. Satan from entering.

Respondent 5

I believe you have 11 months to enjoy yourself. Sex is pleasurable and you are taking a break from all pleasures to seek God’s face. It must be in agreement with your spouse. And sex is not dirty, please.

I asked why we were talking about 1 month and 11 months and Respondent 5 did not respond. However, this respondent made reference to Isaiah 58.

Respondent 6

Sex as at the time the fasting is going on is no sin.

Respondent 7

If they are strong enough to have sex, so be it. Sex in marriage was not, is not and will never be a sin. It is a holy service unto the Lord.

Respondent 8

If we are fasting, every part of our life and body must experience the fasting since it is unto the Lord. Since the period of fasting is not eternity, why can’t we hold on till the fasting period is over?

I responded with this comment – “ This needs to be matched with 1 Corinthians 7: 1-5 to ensure one doesn’t get derailed (applicable for Christians). If you’re fasting and your spouse is burning, I don’t believe that fast is acceptable to God o. Abi I lie? Lol.

Respondent 9

Sex during fasting is a sin because when you are fasting, you must be holy.

When eyebrows were raised, Respondent 9 responded with “Don’t get me wrong, what I mean is that in as much as food is not allowed during fasting, sex must not be allowed too or is food a sin?”

Respondent 10

Don’t confuse yourself, if you are married, sex is not a sin. Except for a straight fasting, do not deny your husband…I will advise you to follow your heart and belief.

Respondent 11

1 Corinthians 7:5 – Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourself to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

Respondent 12

Eating is not sinful, neither is marital sex. The reason why food and sex should be off the plate while fasting is to deny the flesh to feed our spirit more. Once food has been re-introduced, sex can also be re-introduced.

Thus, if one is fasting for 50 days and eats by 6pm, the individual has broken the fast at that point and is also free to engage in sexual activities.

I thoroughly enjoyed this discussion. I hope you did too. What do you think? Should sex and fasting mix? Leave us a comment.