Friday, 27 January 2017

TRIBUTE TO FLORENCE ONYEBUCHI (BUCHI) EMECHETA


Florence Onyebuchi "Buchi" Emecheta left this world on January 25, 2017. She was aged 72 years. She was the author of more than 20 books.

 As usual, I shared the news of her passage on my Facebook wall and there were tributes from those that loved her.

Someone says “ I am grateful for women advocates like her. May she rest in peace. Amen”

Someone else says “Rest in peace ma. Your first book I read was ‘Second Class citizen”.

Someone else says that she is curious to know what happened to her husband and children. Honestly, I have been hearing about Buchi Emecheta but I had not probed much about her. This question caused me to search about her.
Buchi Emecheta


From what I am reading from Wikipedia, Buchi Emecheta was no stranger to the issue of gender bias. She was kept at home while her brother went to school but she somehow managed to convince her parents to send her to an all-girls missionary school.

She married early and unfortunately ended up with an abusive man (Yesterday, I pointed out to a lady that ironically, educated women tend to put up with abuse more than uneducated women do. This assertion is backed up by research). Thankfully, Buchi did not let her story end with death from the blow or emotional torture from an abuser. She left the man at the age of 22 years with 5 children. She went on to earn a degree as well.

She went on to become the popular Buchi Emecheta we all remember. You can click on the links below to learn more about her and her achievements. She did not gain acclaim by publishing silly lists on Facebook.  You may have walked out of or may currently be in an abusive marriage. Your ‘suffering’ may even be different. It should not mark the end of your life. You can turn he story around for your own good.


To answer the question that inspired this post, her first daughter, Chiedu Onwordi, died in 1984 (while she was a medical student in Edinburgh) and her estranged husband, Nduka Sylvester Onwordi, died in London in 1986.

Thank you, Buchi Emecheta, for being an inspiration. I pray that the Lord will comfort your loved ones. Adieu.

References.

Thursday, 19 January 2017

Sex During Fasting - Is it okay?

This time last year, I asked this question on my Facebook Wall – “Erm, this no sex during fasting, let’s discuss the matter o”

My friends did not let me down. I will give the perspectives without names.

Respondent 1

My thoughts on this are that as long as you end your fast at 6pm and by eating food and taking water, you should be able to have sex with your spouse after 6pm. Where I have issues is this – Should sex be between 6pm and 12 midnight or from 6pm -6am?

Someone says you can go up till 11:59 pm. My own response is that it is up to the couple participating in the fast. I have no express word from the Lord concerning this matter.

Respondent 2

Your fast begins from 12 midnight so let everybody hold body until after the fast. In case your spouse insists, my dear, you have no option but to concur.

Respondent 3

Except in the case of dry fasting, intimacy should be incorporated. There are several categories of fasting. Copulation is only prohibited from dry fasting.

I asked if there was a reason why copulation was prohibited from dry fasting and Respondent 5 says “Yes, because dry fasting by nature is uninterrupted. Nothing should interrupt it – sex, food, water etc”. Someone else asked for a scriptural reference but there was no response.

Respondent 4

Abstinence from sex should be by the consent of both parties but it should not be all the time to prevent Mr. Satan from entering.

Respondent 5

I believe you have 11 months to enjoy yourself. Sex is pleasurable and you are taking a break from all pleasures to seek God’s face. It must be in agreement with your spouse. And sex is not dirty, please.

I asked why we were talking about 1 month and 11 months and Respondent 5 did not respond. However, this respondent made reference to Isaiah 58.

Respondent 6

Sex as at the time the fasting is going on is no sin.

Respondent 7

If they are strong enough to have sex, so be it. Sex in marriage was not, is not and will never be a sin. It is a holy service unto the Lord.

Respondent 8

If we are fasting, every part of our life and body must experience the fasting since it is unto the Lord. Since the period of fasting is not eternity, why can’t we hold on till the fasting period is over?

I responded with this comment – “ This needs to be matched with 1 Corinthians 7: 1-5 to ensure one doesn’t get derailed (applicable for Christians). If you’re fasting and your spouse is burning, I don’t believe that fast is acceptable to God o. Abi I lie? Lol.

Respondent 9

Sex during fasting is a sin because when you are fasting, you must be holy.

When eyebrows were raised, Respondent 9 responded with “Don’t get me wrong, what I mean is that in as much as food is not allowed during fasting, sex must not be allowed too or is food a sin?”

Respondent 10

Don’t confuse yourself, if you are married, sex is not a sin. Except for a straight fasting, do not deny your husband…I will advise you to follow your heart and belief.

Respondent 11

1 Corinthians 7:5 – Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourself to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

Respondent 12

Eating is not sinful, neither is marital sex. The reason why food and sex should be off the plate while fasting is to deny the flesh to feed our spirit more. Once food has been re-introduced, sex can also be re-introduced.

Thus, if one is fasting for 50 days and eats by 6pm, the individual has broken the fast at that point and is also free to engage in sexual activities.

I thoroughly enjoyed this discussion. I hope you did too. What do you think? Should sex and fasting mix? Leave us a comment.

Sunday, 22 May 2016

FEUDING WOMEN EPISODE 10

"He is a bit slow and clumsy".
Those words clung to Cletus' mind and refused to let go. Mum and Dad were catching up after so many years and a part of him was glad. Another part wondered what would become of Pastor Mike.
He was already warming up to Pastor Mike and had even planned to ask him how he felt about Mum. Now, he would never know what it was like to be a member of Pastor Mike's family.
Mum never ceased to amaze him. He could not believe how good she was with Dora. The girl practically worshipped the ground Syntyche walked on. She was so attentive and well-behaved when Mum was around her. Mum was so patient with her. Yet, the same Mum had no kind words for him.
Yes, he had a few problems with his school work and he broke a few plates. Still, it was an awful way to describe one's son to his long-lost father. Well, he just had to make do with his amazing Mama!

Dora's mum, Josephine, was a stunning woman. It was a pity she had to put her life on hold to care for the child. Maybe Pastor Mike would marry her instead?

His thoughts quickly turned to Aunty Sylvia and his cousins. He had messaged the group that his dad was back. Everyone was sending him happy emoticons. After what Mum told Dad about his slowness and clumsiness, he didn't feel so happy anymore. So he sent

"Mum says I'm slow and clumsy. So I'll just slowly and clumsily go back to my shell. Bye".

As he hit the "Send" icon, he wondered if he should have sent that. Unfortunately, one cannot retract a WhatsApp message once it is sent. Well!

As he was about to turn off his phone and go to bed, he saw a message from Pastor Mike
"Hey son, how are you doing? How are you getting along with your dad and mum? Hope you're keeping out of trouble. Let's talk after service tomorrow; I have a few things to tell you. You're always in my prayers and I love you son. Good night".

****************************************************
Euodia wanted to shout to let Archippus know she was back home but for some reason,  she kept quiet.  She was exhausted from the shouting match she had with Syntyche at the Leaders' Meeting.  The meeting had gone well until Pastor Gabriel decided to ask if anyone had a comment or question. Syntyche allowed the devil use her at that moment. She started with how Euodia's treatment of Josephine and her unruly daughter was insensitive. She had the nerve to point out that if Euodia had kids of her own,  she would have understood how difficult it is to keep kids in check and how tasking it is for parents of kids with special needs especially. 

As if that was not bad enough, she went on to talk about how Euodia shot down her idea of starting BBM,  Whatsapp and Facebook groups for the Women Fellowship. The idea was one of the crazy ones Syntyche had come up with during the last Women Fellowship Executive Council Meeting.  Which decently married woman had time to spare for social media?  24 hours was not enough for a happily married woman to look after her household and still have time for the things of God.  If Syntyche had a man to care for,  she won't be bringing up such silly ideas.... 

She couldn't believe Syntyche would have done that! The same woman that was leading Pastor Mike on while trying to resolve issues with her estranged husband.  She had even caught her in a restaurant with a man she called Samson. A scarlet woman like Syntyche was calling her out?  She lost her cool and gave Syntyche exactly what she was asking for.  

Pastor Irene took them both aside and tried to mediate.  Euodia couldn't believe Pastor Irene was actually taking Syntyche's side and asking her to apologize. However, she had calmed down enough to catch herself and "obey authority".

She saw Archippus' phone on the sofa and just as she picked it up,  a message came in. It was from Mama. 

"Your son is in the hospital. We need your attention in the village"
****************************************************
Sylvia was tired. She was tired of the lies and cover-ups.  She was tired of treating STIs. She was afraid of contracting a terminal disease from her philandering husband. She was also penniless. Everything "they" owned was in her husband's name. She was "submissive" like that.  Any money she made went into the joint account and she always got her husband's approval before taking anything out. She was taught that her husband's love was dependent on how submissive she was.  So,  she put her all into being the most submissive wife in the whole wide world. 

"So,  what do you want to do now?"

"Syntyche, I sincerely don't know o.  If I stay,  I can contract HIV from this man and die.  If I leave,  I don't have anything to my name,  except my clothes.  How will I care for the children?"

"Hmmm,  Sylvia,  let's work through this rationally.  If you stay,  you can ask him to use a condom before having sexual relations... "

Sylvia laughed.  

"Ask who?  Someone that forces himself on me most of the time?  And tells me to be grateful that he doesn't beat me when I try to deny him his marital benefits? Izuchukwu is a special human being o"

"Why am I just learning about all these,  Sylvia?  How did we drift apart like this?  We used to be best friends,  remember?"

"I know... It was just that when Stephen left,  I didn't want to bother you with my marital challenges. I felt that if I continued to pray and fast,  Izuchukwu would change and I'll also be able to use my testimony to encourage a young wife on how to persevere and build her home successfully"

They were both crying. 

"Sylvia,  we're in this together.  We'll find our way around this.  Let us pray and invite God to help us through this.  All will be well"
****************************************************
He knew he would not last for too long before he reached out to her. Syntyche had taken over his heart when he wasn't looking. He had tried to warn himself that he was playing with fire but he just couldn't resist falling in love with her. 

She had invited him for lunch two weeks ago and broken the news to him as gently as possible. 

"Pastor Mike,  I have decided to work on my relationship with Stephen. I am still his wife and the mother of his son. I'm sorry I didn't define the boundaries of our friendship clearly earlier.  I'm sorry I got carried away and led you on. I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me for toying with your emotions", she said in her lovely matter-of-fact way. 

"Do you love him?"

"Pastor Mike, please don't make this difficult. I value your friendship and support. It'll be nice if we continue as friends but I'll leave it to you to decide. I'll soon be leaving. I'm really sorry about the situation I put us both in"

She squeezed his hand and continued with her meal.  He wondered if she would slap him if he kissed her and held her the way he had always wanted to. Perhaps she would walk away forever and take his heart with her.  He had to stay strong. 

"I didn't intend to but I've fallen in love with you, Syntyche. My ears can hear what you are saying but my heart cannot take it in. Thanks for being kind enough to tell me this in person.  I hope this doesn't mean I have to stop seeing Cletus,  though?  I think I'm getting through to him"

"I don't think you should stop seeing Cletus,  though the time will now be shared between you and Stephen, if you don't mind.  They both need some time to bond".

As she got up to go,  he gave her the hug he had always wanted to give her. He almost gave her the kiss but he quickly caught himself... 

"Hello Syntyche.  How is Stephen?  How is Cletus?  This is Pastor Mike (in case you've deleted my number, lol).  Yes,  we can still be friends.  I'll send today's devotional in a few minutes. Have a nice day"
****************************************************
Stephen was overwhelmed by it all. He had gone from having his day all to himself and thinking only about himself to considering Syntyche and Cletus in all his decisions. He and Syntyche were finalizing plans to move in together and living as a family again.  They had decided that it was more practical for him to move in with Syntyche and Cletus in order to minimize the disruption to Cletus' life.  Besides,  since he was venturing into his own construction business, it was easier that way. 

He was happy to be back with his family but sometimes he was so unsure.  What was he to do when Syntyche infuriated him with her "independent woman" views?  What of when Cletus' clumsiness irritated him?  For now,  he could fake a smile through it since he knew he would go home and take a shower before going to bed.  What would he do when it became his 24 hour a day,  7 days a week reality?

Syntyche hadn't even allowed him do more than kiss her.  She wanted them to take things slowly and find passion again.  Her requests were more than what he had anticipated. He had expected her to be relieved that he had come back to her and they would have just picked up from where they stopped. Still,  kissing her set him on fire. That woman was something else. 

He realized they had switched phones when the text message came in. It was from Pastor Mike. That guy still had designs on his wife.  He had to find a way to get him out of their lives without coming across as being jealous... 

Author's Note: Euodia and Syntyche's story is found in Philippians 4:2-3. This is a very very fictionalized version...Stay tuned for Episode 11.

Tuesday, 8 March 2016

Women's Day Stories

Happy Women's Day.
My Manager wished my female colleague and I a Happy Women's Day after our morning meeting.
I asked one of my male colleagues if he won't wish me a Happy Women's Day. He told me a story about the aftermath of the Beijing Conference (I believe it's a fictional account)...

According to him, when a British woman was called up the next year to discuss the aftermath, she told them that she got home and informed her husband that he would start sharing the house chores with her. After about 3 weeks, the man adjusted and they continued living in peace.
The American woman, Ghanaian woman etc.

Then the Nigerian woman was called up to "testify". The gist is that she got home and told her husband that he had to start pulling his weight in the home. When she woke up three days later in the hospital, she had lost the ability to see with one of her eyes...

That was my cue to burst out laughing... I did not laugh...I never laugh at discussions that promote or justify violence. Instead, I asked him why it is out of place for a woman to ask her husband to pull his weight around the house. He said men don't like to be ordered around. So, I asked why the men don't do it BEFORE anyone has to order them around. Then another man who joined us said that Nigerian men don't do chores and that women are programmed to do house chores. He also said something about God not wanting men to do chores. I asked him if God has different standards for Nigerian men and non-Nigerian men. He had no answer for me.

Another man told me that the countries that are leading in the #GenderParity drive have the highest number of single mothers. Personally, I'm struggling to see the correlation...

Then a few men brought up the issue of paternity leaves. I actually think it's a legitimate concern. I think "nursing fathers" need support too...

These are snapshots of the conversations I've had so far about #GenderParity. Let's discuss this and learn from one another.

#PledgeForParity

Saturday, 20 February 2016

Feuding Women Episode 9

"We lift our hands in the Sanctuary, we lift our hands to give you the glorray, we lift our hands to give you the praise. And we will praise you for the rest of our days, yes, we will praise you for the rest of our days"...
The vixen leading worship was all over the stage and all her curves and endowments were on display. Archippus could not concentrate on worship. His member refused to realise that it was not permitted to rise in church. He hadn't made love to Euodias in about 2 months. He couldn't imagine himself laying with her and thinking of his son in the village with Mama. He wasn't cut out for this double life but he had to do what he had to do... Euodia had been pleading with him EVERY night since that day when he first rejected her advances and told her that he felt terrible sensations whenever she touched him. She had almost caught him one night when he was "helping" himself in the bathroom. He had forgot to lock the door. He had barked at her and asked her to ALWAYS knock and wait for permission before coming in.
Somehow, the vixen in the choir was awakening the giant in him. She needed to complete what she had started..
*******************************************************
"That's how they'll be using Christianity to cover their wickedness. Tueh"
Pastor Irene could spot that voice from many miles. It was her mother-in law, abi mother-in-love.
She waited for the trouble that always accompanied Mama. Her grouse was that instead of staying at home to raise her children and bearing more grandchildren, Pastor Irene was going about travelling, either with Pastor Gabriel or alone. 2 granddaughters and a grandson did not matter much to Mama. She was the only one of her husband's seven wives that had less than 6 grandkids.

Mama was definitely spoiling for a fight. Pastor Irene quickly went to greet her.

"Did I tell you that my hands are paining me?" Mama snarled. "Please don't charm me with your fake niceness. I'm now wiser. Where is my son?"

Pastor Gabriel appeared, right on cue. Pastor Irene was very embarrassed. The women she had invited over for fellowship were having lunch in the dining room and must have heard all the nasty things Mama had said to her. She was in the middle of a lecture about dealing with in-laws when Mama showed up and provided a real life example.

Pastor Gabriel quickly took charge.
"Welcome Mama. How was your trip? I guess it wasn't too stressful? Let's get you settled then we can all talk. Honey, please round up with the women quickly so we can talk."

Mama looked like she wanted to ignore him and keep making a scene but she meekly followed him as he led her through the other entrance and Pastor Irene went back in to round up with the women. Today's lesson was as practical as it would get.
***************************************************
The number was an unfamiliar one. She rarely picked unusual numbers. For some strange reason, she decided to pick up.
"Hello, is this Syntyche?"
Even after so many years, she immediately recognized his baritone voice. Back then, he was a lady's man and his voice was a key selling point. Apparently, not much had changed about him.
"Yes I am. Who am I speaking with, please?"
"It's Samson, your ex-boyfriend and soon-to-be new husband."
"Oh. Hello Samson. How're you doing? How did you get my phone number?"
"I ran into Sylvia and her family at the art exhibition yesterday and she gave me your phone number. She also told me that your "good-for-nothing" husband left you pregnant and ran away. I'm here to stay, babe; I'm not going anywhere. Are you free for dinner?"
Samson was still as direct as ever. He had once told her that there was no point beating about the bush. The worst case scenario was that the person would say "No". Well, "worst case scenario" was coming up...
"No, I'm not free for dinner. I'll have to have a stern word with Sylvia about divulging personal information to strangers".

A tiny voice asked her if she didn't think this was a good opportunity to minister to Samson, so she added, "We can have lunch tomorrow".

They quickly made arrangements and Samson got off the phone. Sylvia's call would come in about 10 minutes. She always called at the same time every day to nag about the same things she nagged about the previous day. She just sat through each nagging session, taking notes on her soon to be published book, "Things nags say".

A text message came in from Pastor Mike. He also sent her daily inspirational messages and chats. She made a note to bring up starting WhatsApp and BBM groups for the Women Fellowship. They would be able to share inspiring thoughts daily and disseminate information quickly. She hoped Euodias would not try to shoot it down because it was her idea.
She sent a chat back thanking him and they started their daily session. He had been really helpful in getting through to Cletus. Somehow, spending time with Sylvia and her family also helped. She wished she was enough for Cletus but she was glad that well-intentioned people were connecting to him.

Sylvia's call came in at exactly 11:45am, just like it did on other days. Soon, she'll to nickname Sylvia "The 11:45 sister". Sylvia didn't sound like herself, though...
"Syntyche, I'm leaving him. I'm tired of this marriage".
"Who are you leaving? Why?”, Syntyche panicked.
The line went dead. Syntyche tried to call back but none of Sylvia's numbers was going through. Something weird was going on...
A lot of weird things had happened recently. First, Sister Agatha from the past had called her. She had been her prayer partner when Stephen first left. They had prayed together for 4 years for marital restoration and had lost touch when Sister Agatha and her family had to relocate. Sister Agatha said that the Lord laid it strongly in her heart that she needed to continue supporting Syntyche and Stephen in prayers. The set time had come. Then, Susan, her co-worker, whom she hadn't had much interaction with told her she had a dream about Syntyche's marriage. She described Stephen perfectly, though she had never met him. She described a few incidents that truly happened in their marriage. She told Syntyche that the set time had come but it was up to Syntyche to travail in prayer to birth the miracle. Now, she just heard from Samson and Sylvia was in distress. She quickly sent Pastor Mike a chat, asking him to pray for her and her family. She hurried to Sylvia's place.
*******************************************************
Josephine wasn't sure how she knew it but she knew she had to attend the church down the street. The dream was too vivid to be ignored.

The rigours of raising an autistic child as a single parent had caused her to drop church attendance from her schedule. Besides, she didn't miss the judgmental comments about Dora's autistic tendencies. There were those that insinuated that if she had disciplined Dora properly, she wouldn't have turned out this way. Some suggested that it was God's way of punishing her for leaving her cheating husband.

Earlier on, she had believed all that nonsense and tried hard to make Dora "normal". She had only accepted Dora as an autistic child about 3 years ago. It had been an enlightening journey so far.

As they got into the church, a very nice man with a nice smile welcomed her to church and directed her to her seat. He asked for permission to take Dora to the Children's Cathedral but she explained that Dora was a special needs child so she needed to keep an eye on her. The usher was unsure so he checked with his HOD, who absent mindedly okayed it.

The worship session was fantastic. Josephine felt at home. Even Dora's constant tugs didn't make the service less heavenly. It added its own flavour to the experience.

THEN, the possibility that scared her away from public gatherings happened! Dora had a meltdown! One minute, she was singing happily; the next minute she was throwing things, kicking and screaming. Apparently, she had tried to get Josephine's attention and she was caught up in the sermon.

THEN, a woman, whom she later learnt was Euodia came from the front to where they were, dragged Does out and motioned for the Head Usher to follow her. Josephine quickly followed them. Then the lady ordered the Head Usher to take Dora to the Children's Cathedral. She then turned to Josephine and started lecturing her on teaching her child to behave properly in public.

Josephine retrieved Dora from the lady. The good thing was that her drama had cured Dora's meltdown. Another lady, whom she later learnt was Syntyche came out, just as she was about to go in to pick up her things. Service was over for her. Syntyche offered to watch Dora while Josephine got their things. Euodia was still shouting at Syntyche when Josephine returned with their things. Syntyche got her contact details and even saw them out. She actually dropped them off at home before returning to church. Such a nice lady, Josephine thought
*******************************************************
"Euodia has finally lost her mind", Syntyche thought as she took the left turn that led to her house. How she thought it was acceptable to act like an idiot to a first timer and be backed by Syntyche remained a mystery...These were definitely interesting times.

Sylvia was fine. She was just heartbroken. She just found out that her husband had fathered another illegitimate child with the tramp that had the first one. Syntyche had asked Sylvia if she really wanted to leave. Sylvia didn't come across like a woman who could stay without being in a romantic relationship. As far as Syntyche knew, Sylvia had always been in a relationship since she was old enough to date...

She looked at the gate and saw him. He hadn't changed, even after so many years...

Author's Note: Euodia and Syntyche's story is found in Philippians 4:2-3. This is a very very fictionalized version...Stay tuned for Episode 10.

Friday, 15 January 2016

Feuding Women Episode 8

Syntyche was tired. The traffic jam was serious. She had estimated that it would take her about an hour to get Cletus from Sylvia's house. Wrong! She spent 3 hours getting to Sylvia's house. Sylvia had laid out a very tempting dish with every form of sea animal Syntyche could name. It had been a while since she had native soup.
As she cleaned her plate with the last ball of wheat, she heard Sylvia's soft voice asking her when last she had a well-cooked home made meal. Syntyche growled inwardly as she prepared herself for Sylvia's lecture on how the way to a man's heart was through his stomach and how a woman should never leave her husband hungry or horny...Well, her husband was living his life somewhere, oblivious to her existence as well as the existence of his son. Thanks to Sylvia, she wasn't hungry but the lecture was making HER horny. Her treacherous mind went to Pastor Mike and wondered what he was like in bed. She quickly captured that thought and subjected it to the Lord.
As much as she detested Sylvia's husband, she was so grateful when he came into the room and Sylvia automatically turned her attention to him, though she hadn't finished what she was saying.
Cletus chose that exact time to announce that he was ready to go home.
Syntyche quickly said her goodbyes and escaped before the spell was broken. The traffic jam back home was deadly. They finally got home at 4pm. She could only grab a bite and rush out for evangelism. Cletus seemed agreeable, the time away seemed to have made him miss home. He even offered to wash plates. Interesting...
*********************************
Euodias quickly served Archippus' meal. He had told her that he needed her to get his meals ready at 7am (breakfast), 2pm (lunch) and 7pm (dinner). She had slipped on that several times in the past and they had even laughed at his "time-table" a few years ago. He returned from his trip and let her know that he expected her to stick to the schedule. His attitude since he returned from this trip was puzzling. He was quick to take offence at whatever she said. She had immediately started speaking more positively about their marriage. Their sexual relations weren't as they were before the trip either. He was usually tired and whenever he managed to make love to her, she knew he was just being dutiful; his soul wasn't there.

"The salt in this stew is too much, Euodias. I can't eat it. Please make me some noodles. You can't even make good food anymore. Is this the kind of food you'll give our children when they come? Maybe that's why God is still keeping them; you better learn how to cook so the children can come quickly."

Euodias couldn't hold back the tears. Why was Archippus taunting her? He had been her pillar as she trusted God for children. She felt the walls around her crumbling... She couldn't afford to faint now and let Archippus stay hungry. She quickly pulled herself together, made the noodles, served him and rushed out for evangelism. The women were in charge this week. She had to deal with the dreadful Syntyche who obviously did not understand the concept of submitting to constituted authority. No wonder her husband left her!
*********************************
Cletus dropped his luggage and looked around his room. Apparently, his mum had tried to straighten the room but she had left most of his things as he left them. The house was also as empty as he left it. He felt lonely almost immediately after having so many people around him at Aunt Sylvia's place.
When he got there, his cousins had wasted no time making him feel at home. He only realised now that he hadn't kept up with the gang nor felt the need to watch porn while he was at Aunt Sylvia's place. His cousins were so cool. He had already started chatting with them in the WhatsApp group chat they started yesterday. Jane was suggesting that they add their parents but George was vehemently opposed to the idea. He agreed with George but he didn't say anything. Let them decide. He didn't mind having Aunt Sylvia in the group but he definitely did not want his mum in the group.
He liked George a lot and George made washing plates seem so cool. He started joining George to wash the plates and it didn't seem like such a girl's job after all. He also realised that his mum actually smiled when he offered to wash the plates. She didn't seem so distant when she smiled...
He saw the red light on his phone as he dried his hands...17 messages from 2 WhatsApp conversations... He quickly checked and saw 10 messages from his cousins and 7 messages from the gang...Yes, he was back home!
*********************************
Stephen was excited...The boss wanted him to be the manager of the biggest project in the company. He couldn't believe it! As usual, he thought of Syntyche first as he realised that was the dream he and Syntyche had laid on the couch a few months after their honeymoon talking about. Without thinking, he called her. After three rings, he terminated the call. Of course, she wouldn't want to hear his news. He had been talking with the pastor in his office fellowship, who was his assigned buddy when he resumed. He had mentioned to Pastor G, as others called Gregory, that he had a wife and son that he had walked away from many years ago. He knew he had wronged Syntyche and Cletus but he wasn't sure he could face them. They were better off without him. He couldn't imagine what he could do to make things right with them again.
*********************************
"Let's start from Apple street, then turn off at Olive street and finish up at Banana Avenue. Is that okay?"
Euodias looked around at the sea of women who nodded in agreement. Behind her, someone began to speak. Without turning back, she KNEW it was Syntyche...
"I don't think it's a good idea. You'll rarely find anyone to talk to there. I suggest we go to the market and talk to people there".
A few of the women began to agree with Syntyche and Euodias was suddenly tired. She had hoped evangelism would take her mind off her challenges; now she had to deal with Syntyche...
"We're doing as I said. Thanks, Deaconess", she said calmly though she felt like inflicting pain...
"I won't waste my time walking on empty street, marking time. I have a lot of things I could have done at home with the time, Deaconess", Syntyche fired back.
They began to throw verbal missiles.
After about 5 minutes, Deaconess Lydia came out of the meeting with Pastor to calm them both down. After listening to both sides, she recommended that a team go with Euodias in the route she described and another team go with Syntyche to the market place.
She had to discuss with Pastor on how to deal with the root of bitterness that was growing between these otherwise wonderful women. Each of them were pillars in this church in spite of their personal challenges...
*********************************
Pastor Mike heard Syntyche's voice as she came into the church. She had thanked him for his help the other day and had gone back to the polite conversations they had always had. The issue was that he really enjoyed spending the day with her at the mechanic's and would have loved to hear more about her job. It had been a while since he had a stimulating conversation with any woman. The last lady took his heart and ended up marrying another man. He longed to talk with Syntyche but he just couldn't figure out how to do so. He knew she was separated and was trusting God for marital restoration. At least, he'll like to be her friend, though he didn't mind being more than a friend if the circumstances were different.
He had a hard time listening to what Pastor was saying. He was listening to the exchange between Euodias and Syntyche. Syntyche was making a lot of sense, though she could have been more discreet. He enjoyed her logical conversation and her voice was divine, even when angry. The man that abandoned her needed to get himself examined. He wondered what it would be like if she was his wife.


Author's Note: Euodia and Syntyche's story is found in Philippians 4:2-3. This is a very very fictionalized version...Stay tuned for Episode 9

Friday, 13 November 2015

FEUDING WOMEN Episode 7

Syntyche was up before 6am. Pastor Mike had dropped her off close to her house before going home. He had called her when he got home and had sent her a text message before she got up this morning. 

She quickly freshened up and grabbed some bread and egg as she called her close-by cab driver. Pastor Mike had offered to come around to pick her up and drive her to the filling station to sort out the car. She had sent him a response thanking him for his assistance and asked him not to bother himself as she didn't want to disturb him. She had followed up with a phone call but he didn't pick the call. 

Just as she finished her meal, the cab driver arrived. She quickly locked up the house and made a mental note to call Sylvia and Cletus. She had to go back in to turn off the gas and a few lights. Finally, she made it to the cab. 
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Euodia woke up feeling heavy. She went through the events of the previous day and was heavily convicted when she remembered driving past Syntyche at the foot of Third Mainland bridge. She should have stopped to help, right? Well, she remembered that Syntyche called her a witch and that sealed her decision. She got home, watched some TV and fell asleep on the couch. 

She saw 17 missed calls from Archippus. "This man was always checking up on me", she thought as she tried to call him back. 
"You do not have sufficient call credit to make this call. Please recharge your phone or dial *472# to borrow airtime. You can send a voice message after the tone", the barely polite voice from her service provider advised her. She quickly ended the call as she didn't want to start unending headaches with her service provider; she was still trying to stop them from sending her annoying text messages and deducting money for frivolous things. 

She quickly got up, freshened up and grabbed a meal. She noticed that Archippus had called her 4 more times. She really had to hurry....
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"Why isn't she picking my calls?", Archippus wondered. 
Could she have managed to find out and left the marriage? He was sweating profusely. 
He decided to send her a text message. 
"Archi, what are you doing? Is it my daughter-in-law you're calling? Have you asked her how my grandson is doing?"
Mama asked all her questions with a wide grin. Archippus knew which "daughter-in-law" Mama was referring to but he was too worried to pick a fight with Mama. The text message would have to wait till later. 
He forced a fake smile and lied about his "wife" and son. 
"So, what name are we giving my grandson? I'm thinking of Thomas, George or Donald. I'll let you know what I decide before the week ends"
Archippus stared at his mother in disbelief. She wouldn't even allow him name his child?
He just smiled and walked back to his room. He wasn't in the right frame of mind for Mama's drama.
His phone rang as he walked away. Euodia was calling him!
*************************************
Syntyche finally got to the filling station. She had called the office to let them know she'll come in late. Pastor Mike was already giving instructions and had come with a mechanic. 
"Good morning Pastor Mike. What a pleasant surprise"
"It's my pleasure, thanks. I guessed you'll need a mechanic to look at the car so I called my mechanic. I hope you've called the office?"
"Yes, I have"
"Please can I have the key so the mechanic can look at the car properly? Will you like to wait in my car?"
"Thank you sir. I'll like to watch the mechanic work, if you don't mind. I hope I'm not keeping you from important appointments?"
"Actually, I'm on leave. I'm studying for my professional exams. I'll be writing the exams in two weeks time"
"Okay"
Pastor Mike went with the key to the mechanic while Syntyche went to sit in Pastor Mike's car. She had come with her laptop so she started working away. She didn't notice when Pastor Mike returned to the car. He cleared his throat and she jumped. 
"I've been watching you work for about 10 minutes"
"Really?" She smiled, revealing her recently scaled teeth. 
"You were so focused on what you were doing. Please continue; I'll just study for my exams without disturbing you"

They stayed in silence for about one and a half hours. 
*************************************
"So, why didn't you at least send a text message to tell me what was going on?"
Archippus yelled at Euodia
"I didn't have enough credit. I already said that earlier, darling"
Euodia replied calmly, though she wondered if Archippus was beginning to lose his hearing. 
She quickly cast down the negative thought. She had learnt not to lose her temper when dealing with her husband. Proverbs 31 women just didn't yell at their husbands, no matter how much the men tried their patience. The woman is expected to smile and endure. Only patient women had good marriages. 
"So, are you saying I'm deaf?", Archippus yelled
"No, darling. Maybe I just thought I had said it before. Sorry darling. Is there a reason you were trying to reach me?"
"So, I'm saying nonsense, right?"
"No darling, I didn't say that"
"So, I'm lying ehn"
"I didn't say you were lying, Archippus"
"I'm not sure what has come upon you, Euodia. Since you became a Deaconess, you've been proving to me that you're more intelligent that I am. Is that what being a Deaconess entails?"
Euodia decided to keep quiet as her words seemed to be compounding issues. 
"So, I'm talking to myself now, Euodia. Anyway, I was just calling to check up on you but it seems you're bent on proving your superiority. Let me leave you to continue with whatever it is Deaconesses do. See you when I get back"
With that, Archippus ended the call. 
Euodia was quite surprised at how the call went. She knew she had to start praying. Whenever Archippus had those fits, it usually took a lot to get him to snap out of those moods. Maybe she should find a way to surprise him and get him out of that foul mood... 

Author's Note: Euodia and Syntyche's story is found in Philippians 4:2-3. This is a very very fictionalized version...Stay tuned for Episode 8.